Eight Super-Simple Ways To Keep Your Lover Happy on Valentine's Day
Adam Quirk
- Hire a detective to follow them around. No matter how much you think you may know them through texts and irl convo, nothing beats a private eye.
- Hire a snake handler to show them how to handle snakes if they ever encounter one in the wild or if they deal with them at work.
- Hire a clown to write a series of love notes in your name.
- Hire your grandmother to visit him/her at the office and bring a favorite food from childhood like bologna or a baggie of apple slices
- Hire a pizza delivery person to drive them around on their regular delivery route that night, so they can experience the sights of your town while inhaling pizza aroma and other aromas in the car.
- Hire a blimp to follow them around. Bonus points if you can get the blimp to put something on its sign relative to your lover like "👍" or I Love You
- Hire a football player to carry them up any inclines they may encounter for the day. Make sure to tip him well because football players rely on tips to make a living.
- Hire a fashion model to braid their hair and tell them how skinny they are while they drink water together.